Christmas

I was a little worried about how Christmas would go this year. Coming from a large family, I have just gotten used to having quite a few siblings to share the holiday with.
However, this year was different because I only had one other sibling home for the holidays. Of course spouses plus mom and dad were there.
I am happy to report though that Christmas was still awesome! I had a great time with my family as well as Nathan's. In fact the two families got together twice (Christmas eve party and joint birthday party).

Some highlights and memorable moments include:
shopping with dad (never got to shop with mom, don't know how that happened!)
shopping with in laws and Sherry
Christmas Eve party
Christmas morning breakfast/gift opening
shooting guns at the gun range
being awesome at shooting guns ;) By awesome I mean I hit my target a few times.
birthday dinner at Costa Messa (I didn't misspell Messa, the restaurant did)
birthday dessert and rock band party
Nathan trying to play the didgeridoo
Spending time with some old friends
Going to see Sherlock Holmes with the family
home made cinammon rolls
Taco Zarape

In short, it was a great holiday. Pictures will have to wait a litle while. They were taken by my brother and I haven't recieved any as of yet.

What's Utah got that I don't?!

This week I lost another friend to Utah. In case you don't keep up with my personal life ;) that makes three of my best girlfriends now living among the Wasatch mountains. Now I realize that circumstances may lead people to less than ideal places. Even Nathan and I had a brief stint up there. But honestly, enough is enough. For my good friends and family living in Utah due to "circumstances" I think I'll just take a moment to remind you of reasons you may want to give yourself a timeline to get out, aka the cons to living in Utah. Now in the interest of fair and balanced reporting, I'll also include a pros list.

pros: Cafe Rio,great skiing, LDS church HQ
cons: eateries like Taco Time and Taco Bueno, winters that go on FOREVER, Utah drivers, Judgey McJudgertons, inversion, the smell of cows, backcombing (aka-teasing) hair is considered a good fashion for ladies,and of course a surprising number of people who consider any place outside of Utah the "mission field". I mean really.

By the way, this is one of the images that came up when I googled "Utah hair"


After reading this I highly suggest you sit down and create your exit strategy. No one is saying it must be immediate, but really, how long can you live in a place where people thought it was a great idea to build houses on sand. (If you don't know what I'm referring to, drive by the point of the mountain. Literally the houses were built on SAND!!)

I'll be here to help every step of the way. You may also need some suggestions on where to relocate. I'd be happy to help on that front as well.

All in a days work

For better or for worse, the following are just a few of the routine things that occur during a regular workday for me.

Must report by 7:10 a.m.
check email
make copies
must make sure to use the bathroom before the kids arrive, otherwise I'll be outta luck for a while.
Kids arrive....
answer questions about the assignment, the homework from yesterday about whether I like transformers or pokemon or webkinz etc.
tell kids to get back to work
help a student with the math assignment while keeping mental note of who is on task, off task, in the room, at the bathroom, in the library, at the nurse and/or at the office
tell kids to get back to work
start the lesson
teach my heart out
give an assignment after asking if ANYONE has any questions before starting the assignment
pass out assignment because no one had questions!
give all the kids who now rush at me with the assignment and all their questions the stink eye
I tell them to sit back down and figure it out. I've usually already answered their question and if they "had been listening (they) would already know what to do"
REPEAT THE LAST 6 ITEMS ALL DAY LONG
get a hug (repeat approx. 20 times during the day)
take away a student's toy due to playing with it during instruction
take same student's eraser due to playing with it during instruction
take same student's pencil due to playing with it during instruction
take same student's string due to playing with it during instruction
take same student's paperclip due to playing with it during instruction
(repeat approx. 20 times during the day)
have a total of about 10 minutes of conversation with an adult
sit down
grade papers
go home
:)

Back in the Day

Over the Thanksgiving Break (for which I had one week of vacation...teaching aint all bad);) I was looking at a store advertisement with my three year old niece Katie.

I was almost shocked at how young the desire for a toy starts. I guess I just don't have any recollections of wanting a toy so bad that young. When we got to the doll page she audibly gasped (so cute!) and pointed at a doll and told me, "I want that!"

When I was about seven I would have killed for a Magic Nursery Baby. Watch the following clip to see why...


Awesome. I know.
If I remember correctly Santa wasn't able to give it to me at Christmas because he had run out of them by the time he got to our house. So after checking in SEVERAL stores in the days following Christmas I finally got my beloved toy.
It may very well have been the most exciting day of my life up to that point.
Once I found out my doll was in fact a girl, I filled in her "birth certificate". I think I named her Mitsy. How 90s.

Funk

It's not that I don't want to write... I've just been in a funk.
I just thought I'd get back on here to spur the desire to write. It's kind of like my going back to the gym... even if it was just to sit in the steam room or hot tub. Hey, at least it got me there. And I've been pretty good at getting back there ever since.

Don't worry. There is method to my madness (usually).
More to come-

Blarney Boyfriend

(I don't think I ever really posted anything about my Ireland trip this past March. Well inspriation has finally struck)

Our day of driving through the BEAUTIFUL Ring of Kerry had been picture perfect. Bright sunlight, warm weather, birds singing, flowers blooming... you get the picture.

As our drive through the ring concluded, the weather turned cold and cloudy. This would make our drive to our final destination of Dublin all the more tricky. It would have been wise to just hit the road for Dublin, but our proximity to Blarney Castle was too alluring. We of course would have to take a slight detour to check out the castle and of course the famous Blarney stone.
The ominous change in weather should have tipped me off to what was awaiting me there.

We got into the castle grounds about thirty seconds before they closed. Rebekah, Stephanie and I made our way up to the top of the castle where the "lucky" stone awaited. I was determined NOT to kiss the stone for fear of catching a disease, such as herpes or scampis. (see previous post for more on scampis.) Naturally I was talked into it after all the trouble we'd gone through to get there.

The keeper of the Blarney stone helped each of us kiss the rock. We took pictures and made small talk with some other tourists. The three of us lingered slightly longer than the other groups there but eventually decided we had better get going. It was apparent as we were thanking the Blarney keeper and saying goodbye that he was perhaps a lonely man, as he chatted us up just a bit. At any rate we finally made our way down the treacherous castle steps.

All of that work had made us hungry. But where to go eat in Blarney? If only there was a local we could ask about a nearby restaurant or pub. Just about that time, Blarney keeper was seen just ahead of us, locking up and walking the grounds. I caught up to him as the other two finished taking a couple of pictures of the scenery.

Perhaps he mistook my running up to him as flirting...

Me: Hi again. Is there a restaurant nearby where my friends and I could get some dinner?
Creepy Blarney Man: (in thick Irish accent of course) Ah yer hungry now are yuh?
Me: Ya, it's been a long day and we still have to drive to Dublin so we were hoping there was a place close by.
CBM: I could make yuh some dinner.
Me: (fake laugh) oh that's ok.
CBM: I don't live far. You should have dinner with me.
Me: (awkward/creeped out laugh) no, that's ok.

At this point the other two join us.

Girls: What's going on. Have you figured out a place to eat?
Me: (trying to make the CBM's comments not creepy) Not yet, but I think I just got asked out on a date.
Girls: (laughing) oh really?
CBM: (talking to me) so you want to have dinner?
Me: (thinking I'd rather make out with the Blarney stone than continue this conversation) I don't think my husband would like me having dinner with another man.
CBM: So yer married?
Me: Yup. (show my ring)
CBM: What does yer husband do?
Me: (thinking- doesn't make his living by guarding a rock, that's for sure)

At any rate with the help of the girls I got out of that awkward line of questioning and were just about to leave... but not before Creepy Blarney Man asked...

CBM: Can I take a picture with yuh?
Me: Um, sure. Do you have a camera?
CMB: No
This is where Stephanie comes to the "rescue". How weird is it that he wanted
a picture on one of our cameras??
Steph: I'll take one of you guys.
CBM moves very close to me and says (I'm not making this up)
CBM: I'll make sure to keep me hands in me pockets.

And voila.


I had almost made a "what the heck is this creepy guy doing" face. I suppose it was good that I had not because immediately after the picture was taken he asked to see it.

Somehow we got outta there. I remember, as we were walking back to the car and talking about what the heck had just happened, wanting to look back to make sure he wasn't following us- but too afraid to, in case he was.

We ended up driving pretty far from the castle. We found a Domino's Pizza in a strip mall type of place. Our encounter there was only a bit more pleasant than Blarney Castle. They didn't have a bathroom there, and the pizza sauce tasted like the smell of horses. We ate our personal sized pizzas in our car, in the parking lot.

Hot Tamale Train

My favorite show, So You Think You Can Dance, ended this week. It's definately a minor obsession with Nathan and I, and by that I mean that we still have each episode on our DVR. One of these days I'm sure we'll learn some of our favorite dances from the show and bust the new moves out at a wedding reception or something like that.

Luckily the show is moving to the fall line up so a new season is not too far off. Since I was thinking about how much I like the show, I thought I'd take some time to expound some of the best parts about it (according to me) for you non believers.

1)The judges: Forget the bickering and snide remarks of American Idol judges. The SYTYCD judges are FUNNY,FUNNY,FUNNY and actually seem to like each other (novel idea) as well as the contestants they are critiquing (pretty sure I spelled that wrong). They are a breath of fresh air

2)Mary Murphy: She is one of the judges. Some people love her, some love to hate her. I'm in the love her camp. She is wild, she is crazy and she is LOUD!! The dancers live to be put on her "hot tamale train" which means nothing more than a lot of screaming from Mary.
She also reaffirms her statements a whole lot, which I find to be an addicting characteristic of hers, yes I do. :)

3)the DANCING: I've never been in a dance class. Well, aside from my brief stint as a flocorico (sp?) dancer back in first grade. My sister and I were the only white girls in the class. It was awesome. At any rate, I've always enjoyed dancing despite my lack of training. It is incredible to watch the creativity that goes into the choreography as well as the physicality needed to dance the routine. PLUS, I never realized until this show that dance can evoke quite a lot of emotion. Below is my favorite dance from this past season, titled "Addiction". In the dance Kupono is the addiction and Kayla is the addict trying to fight against her addiction. LOVE IT!



4) The group routines: When all the contestants participate in a dance it is actually good, not gag inducing like the American Idol sing alongs produced by Ford.

5) It's interactive: By that I mean that during the commercial breaks, it's hard to resist getting up to show off your own awesome dance moves, or at least your best replication of the dance you just saw... not that I do that.

So there you have it. You now have five wonderful reasons to check out the upcoming season of this wonderful show. You know I'll be watching... and dancing.

A lil goody

A portion of one of my favorite talks. Enjoy!

Words that make me cringe

Many of you know that I am a "word person". I don't sit around reading a dictionary or anything, but the more one gets to know me, the more one will find that there are several words that gross me out, or otherwise put me into hysterics when I hear them. Some I like to say to evoke a reaction from my friends, and some (mostly one) I can't even bring myself to say. Here they are in no particular order:

tender, loin, tenderloin (duh), scintillating, titilate, penetrate, moist, cockles,(Not sure how to spell it, but my mom is fond of saying the phrase "warms the cockles of my heart", which makes me want to puke.) barnacles, tentacles, scampi (sounds like an STD. i.e. "Joe has a raging case of scampi") and probably worst of all these is panties.

I could hardly even type it. I think this word sounds pornographic. It's disgusting. No daughter of mine will ever wear panties... she will wear UNDERWEAR!! Why do girls have to wear p------, but boys get to wear underwear?? I'll tell you why, because some pervert in the undergarment business created the word to get his jollies.
Some have said to me that since girls wear different types of under garments there needed to be a distinction. Therefore the p word and bra needed to be specific because underwear could mean either of the two.

That is a crock. I've never known a girl to refer to a bra as underwear. Ever. If there is anything I could do in this life that would make me feel like I was successful in some way, it would be to obliterate this word. Join my cause won't you? Admit it, you think it's a gross word too.

Baumeister v. Twilight Saga

I stayed away as long as a I could. Despite hearing the rave reviews from friends and family, I had refused to get caught up in Stephenie Meyers' books that form the "Twilight Saga". It was a little irksome when the young women at church gushed over the books. It was really annoying when the girls my age went crazy over the first movie installment. I was above it, and far too busy to read a book for teenagers... famous last words.

My sister in law is a major fan. Nathan reads a ton, especially when he travels. He was looking for a new book to read before he headed out on a business trip. His sister of course gave him the first two books of the series, along with her high recommendation and so he went on his trip with some reading material. I don't remember exactly how long he was away, but when he got back he had not only read the books she loaned him, but had been so anxious to continue the story that he purchased the final two books at the airport. Of course I teased him. :)

Since I had a lot of free time in my convalescent state at the beginning of my summer break, Nathan encouraged me to read the books. Thus begun my battle. I tore through the books. I knew I would regret reading them so quickly because I wouldn't want the story to end, but I coulndn't stop myself. I had become the person that had irritated me just months before- and I didn't care!

I watched the movie and hated it. Considering that the same actors are being used for the second movie installment, you'd think I wouln't be eagerly awaiting it's debut. You'd be wrong. I have gone crazy! One day I got on to youtube to see if I could find the trailer for the next movie. You'll want to watch it so you can appreciate this next part.


I also found a video of some girls watching the trailer on the mtv movie awards (where it was first shown to the public). It made me laugh sooo hard. I would never act the way they do (at least not in front of people j/j) but it is hilarious to see the level of fanatisism they exude here. In this video you can't see what they are seeing, which is why it is important that you see the real trailer before watching this. They REALLY like the part where the character Jake is shown sans his shirt. NOTE: If you want to avoid some bad language, stop the video at 3 mins.


In short, I'd say I have definately lost my battle with Twilight. I am now a loser fan anxious for the second movie to come out- which, I'm sure I'll hate :)

Off to the "Crazy Farm" I go

ALL (yester)DAY (and night) I have been having dreams that are acting more like hallucinations. In my previous post I wrote about my back injury and the leg pain that has accompanied it.

Yesterday morning (so I'm talking Friday) I woke up at 5:30 because of my leg pain which has become normal. At this time I do my back stretches, read scriptures, feed the dogs etc. I then usually fall back asleep some time in the afternoon for like 3 hours.

So, as I was saying Friday morning began in this way except I was feeling horribly nauseous. Not totally bizarre due to all the meds/herbal supplements my doc has me on. I writhed around for about an hour before Nathan had to leave. After which I went into the bathroom and threw up. But wait, this is where the fun begins.

Kya and Pepper were scheduled for a vet appointment that usually takes a few hours. I was to drop them off in the morning. However, I called Nathan and said I just couldn't do it. So he called our good friend Jaron, who was not going in to work today and asked him if he'd help out. He of course said yes, and Nathan called to inform me of the plan.

I felt like the leg pain had abated enough that I could venture to sleep again. (it was about 2 hours until the dogs were going to be picked up). The whole time I dreamt all these crazy scenarios. The reason I mentioned they also seemed like hallucinations is because in the dreams I was asleep in bed (like I was in reality) awakened by something odd but too tired to really do something. In fact, in real life my eyes tried to open but I was too tired to stop any of the shenanigans.

A couple of my favorites:

1) I'm sleeping. I hear someone trying to get into the front door. I assume it's Jaron (now referred to as J). Instead, these two kids who are like 10 come into the house and steal the t.v. right from my bedroom. I of course do not stop them because I'm too tired. I only realized it was a dream when I woke up and remembered that we don't have a t.v. in our room in the first place.

2) I'm sleeping. I hear J coming in through the garage. (we have a keypad so this is actually possible). He says hi to Kya and Pepper, goes and pets them, and gets them ready to go. Then he walks into my bathroom and begins to look through my medicine cabinet. I try to stop him because there are embarrassing things in there (like dulcolax. Serious pain meds make one constipated) but again, too tired to utter a word. I only realized this was a dream when one of my dogs in reality barked... and I did not hear J in the house at all.

Eventually the dogs were picked up without my t.v. stolen or my privacy being invaded. So I was left to sleep unfettered. Except for dreaming that I was reading my current book, Twilight, as I slept. This one is not new. In high school it happened a lot where I'd dream I was actually reading the text of my current book and thinking that I'd finally figured out how to read books so fast and that everyone else was a sucker because they couldn't read their book while they slept.

During the day I also dreamt that I got about 100 new emails and voice mails on my new iPhone and feeling so overwhelmed to be so popular. I realized this was a dream when I remembered that I only have like 5 friends. :)

OK so tonight's episodes are my favorite (these just happened about an hour ago).

1) I'm back in high school. It's lunch time. I don't have a lunch. I thought I'd just go run over to Wendy's and pick something up. It's important to note that in this dream I'm my current self. A 26 year old, married, college grad. Anyway I go out to the parking lot and see the security guard whose job it is to not let students leave for lunch. As I was trying to scheme a way of getting out, I remembered that I didn't have a car anyway. I went back into school and someone handed me a Wendy's lunch and drink. I thanked that person and went to bed.
Nathan hears me getting into bed and asks if he could have my six piece chicken nuggets. I cursed myself for not getting into bed more quietly so I wouldn't have to share. I realized this was a dream when woke up because I was actually moving my hand through the sheets looking for my lunch and coming up empty handed.

2) Back in the high school cafeteria. I was sitting down and seeing my old high school friends. Dennis Lyons turns around and says hi. We chit chat. In real life Dennis did go to my h.s. and church as well, though I'm not sure what he is up to these days.
Anyway all of a sudden a bunch of steam comes up from what looks like miniature manholes in the ground. I got scared thinking either it's steam or poisonous gas. My fears were alleviated when Dennis got up and stood in the steam... to get the wrinkles out of his shirt. He came back and asked if I could tug his shirt a bit to make sure the wrinkles really got out. I realized this was a dream when I woke up, trying to tug on a non existent shirt in the air.

3) Last but not least, it's the first day of the upcoming school year. In this dream I'm my current self, a teacher though, not a student. For some reason my mom drives me to school. Perhaps to help me get my class ready, though since it's already the first day the time for that is over.
At any rate, once I get to my room the principal tells me they had to move me into the room next door at the last minute, which used to be Ms. Woolery's room. (real teacher, not real description of room). The principal gives me the keys to my new room, and a dollar for the inconvenience it may have caused me.
The first part I walk in to is a little kitchenette. It has a sink,dishwasher,cupboards and a fridge. It's obviously too small for a class of 20 which my mom and I are discussing in great exasperation. All of a sudden I see a small door which opens into another room. I excitedly show my mom and say, "Oh, this is the actual classroom part. The kitchenette is a bonus. How cool!" By the way, the "actual classroom" is about 10x12.
All of a sudden Kerry Marino, a friend from college, walks in to help me get my class set up. She had heard about what had happened and drove all the way from Dallas to help. She starts by looking through the cupboards in the kitchenette and finds hundreds of treats that Ms. Woolery must have left in there from the year before.
Kerry and I are so excited! She found a "Little Debbie" Moon Pie and quickly began to eat it. I found a little pack of sweet tarts and opened them up. I dumped them into my mouth, but nothing went in... I realized this was a dream when I woke up actually making the motion of trying to dump this candy in my mouth.

I got out of bed, went to the kitchen, and made myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It just seemed like the right thing to do.

Channeling the old lady in me

By now some of you may have heard about my latest and greatest back injury. But you may not know all the delightful details about it. Let me run them down in a nutshell.

1. I have chronic back problems going back to junior high. I had surgery on an inexplicable herniated disk when I was 13.

2. My last really bad episode (prior to this latest one) was about 4 years ago... at the end of our honeymoon. Bow-chicka bow wow. Just kidding. It was the culmination of stress that led to my downfall. I had been planning a wedding,finishing my last semester of college, studying for finals and moving. Oh and let me not forget that on my wedding day, I left my luggage at the hotel in San Antonio and didn't realize that fact until I was three and half hours south of San Antonio for our reception. This could obviously be a post of its own.

3. This last back injury happened over Memorial Day Weekend. Note the stressors leading up to this were the TAKS tests, the end of the school year and a horrible incident with one of my students.

4. I was out pretty much the entire last week of school with the exception of the final Friday.

5. Worst pain ever in my life. I haven't had a baby yet... but I feel it would not be too far from that kind of pain. Just in a different area of my body, naturally.

Let me just pepper in a few more details. Sunday night the pain was solely in my lower back and had gone from pesky to annoying. As the following day was a holiday, I really wanted to be able to do our planned activities and I thought a back brace would help. Nathan and I went to the gym so I could soak in the hot tub after which we picked up a back brace at the drug store.

The brace seemed to help and I was sure that I'd be able to ejoy the day off on Monday without a big problem. I went to bed with the brace on but decided it was uncomfortable. As I arched my back to get it off a searing pain tore down my left leg. It felt like I had electric bolts shooting down my leg and 100 charlie horses in my left....buttock. :)

I got a bit of sleep that night. In fact I averaged about 3 hours of sleep per night for the whole week. I foolishly hoped that everything would be better by Tuesday so I could go to work. It was very apparent by 2AM that that was not going to happen. My 3rd grade co-workers REALLY stepped up to the plate for me. From getting lesson plans ready for the sub, to covering for me at an after school meeting. They were AWESOME!

I went to work on Wednesday but was told to go home because I looked like death. Thursday I had a sub, but still had to go to work for at bit of time to get some end of year awards prepared etc. Friday, the last day, I hobbled in to work for our end of year party. My class was great and very helpful. Poor kids walked at my pace (snail crawl) from place to place. I really wish I could have a do over and really have a great last day of school. Instead though, I ran out of pain meds by noon and the rest of the day was pretty grim for me.

The best part about Friday was that my mom and dad drove up to Austin to help me pack up my room to allow for summer cleaning. When I say they helped me, I mean I sat in a chair and told my parents where to put stuff. It was kind of like Freaky Friday. I felt like I had the body of a 65 year old person and my parents had the body of a 26 year old. They were such a huge help. They stayed the night with me as Nathan was doing an over night activity with the young men from church.

Saturday morning seemed like things were getting better. Instead of being hunched over, I was able to stand up relatively straight. Leg pain,still there. This continued the entire day and night. I got about 45 minutes of sleep. Obviously I was delirious by Sunday morning and the only doctor open on Sunday was my family doctor. That blessed man gave me Vicadin, muscle relaxers, and steroids. I took them once I got home and fell into a deep sleep for the first time in a week!

I've gotten progressively better since then. It turns out that part of a disk in my back is slightly touching a nerve, thus all the leg pain and paralysis of my left toes. I'm going to physical therapy and have regained movement in my toes. Yay!

To make this post even longer (sorry) I just want to quickly go over the silver lining in this whole thing.

- My physical therapist found that my core muscles (front and back) are extremely weak which in turn do not protect my spine adequately. This is good to know because now we can work to fix that. Had I not been aware of this, she said, when the time comes for Nathan and I to get pregnant, I would be in bad bad shape. Can you imagine?

- Though I had a meltdown or two, I now have a super human pain tolerance.

- I have the best parents on earth. I already knew this, but now all you know too. :)

- My husband is an angel. He was on the front lines of all this. He got me through my lowest moments, took a day off of work to help me, took care of all the house stuff in addition to going to work and still fulfilling his church duties, took the dogs out on walks even if it was late at night and the list goes on and on.

In short, I never want this to happen to me again but at least some good came out of it. Oh and P.S. if anyone ever needs some fun pain meds, give me a call ;)

Confessions

One of the favorite things about my marriage is that almost each night we ask each other if we have confessions. These are not heavy, "I have a secret credit card and we're in financial ruin" type of confessions. They are cooky, random and usually funny. Here a few favorites.

-When we were first married, I got really sick and thought I was running a fever. I went to the drug store and bought a thermometer and some plastic thermometer covers. I got home and took my temp. Nathan saw the plastic covers and was very interested. He wanted to take his temperature too. I said he shouldn't waste those covers.
A few nights later he confessed... he'd taken his temperature, WITH the plastic covers. Not once, not twice , but THREE times.

- Both of us confessed that we were secretly buying candy bars at work/school. Not that either one of us would have been upset by the other buying candy bars, I guess we just both felt guilty of it. We even made sure the wrappers were hidden from each other :)

- One of us confessed to crying, kind of a lot, at the end of the movie Legends of the Fall for some strange reason.

- One of us confessed to having a dream to one day wrestle a bear.

- One of us confessed to having a favorite student at school (I guess that gave it away who it was) :)

- One of us confessed to using the last of the milk in the morning before work and NOT caring that the other wouldn't have any for their breakfast.

- One of us confessed for being responsible for the foul odor that came out of nowhere earlier that day...

- One of us confessed that we wished that we could call our dogs while we're away on vacation to see how they are doing

Anyone have any confessions they want to get out there??

Cookin with fire

*This is a story from my college days. I wasn't feeling inspired to write anything of my recent life*

The day was just like any other. I'd gone to my classes at UT, studied and then made my way home. That night I decided I was going to make chicken parmesan. My roommate was upstairs studying for some important tests and interviews that were coming up. I thought maybe the smell of some good dinner would force her to come downstairs and take a study break with me.

After I put the chicken into the oven, I stayed nearby and read a book. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash. I glanced at the oven and noticed... it was on fire! Well , what it really was was that the coil that heats in the oven was sparking and on fire. I froze. Was this really happening?? I ran over and turned off the oven. Nothing happened. The coil was still sparking and my poor chicken parmesan was, I was realizing, never going to be enjoyed.

All the lessons you learn about safety as you grow up somehow just boiled down to "call 911". So I did. The call went something like this:

Operator: 911 emergency, what is your emergency?
me: (thoughts in my head. "My chicken's on fire!" "My dinner needs saving!" ) Hi, um, I don't know if this is really an emergency but the coil inside my oven is on fire... I was trying to cook my dinner. It just happened. It wasn't my fault...
Op: I'll transfer you to the fire department

FireMan: Fire department what's your emergency
me: Hi, I don't think this is an emergency but my coil is on fire.
FM: Your what?
me: oh, uh ,the coil that heats up inside the oven. It's on fire.
FM: Have you turned the oven off?
me: yes sir
FM: alright. I'll send someone over
me: um, ok, but like I said I don't think it's really an emergency, I just wasn't sure what to do. I was trying to cook dinner and it just happened.
FM: (chuckles) No problem. We'll send someone over to check it out
me: ok thanks

I hung up and at that point paced around. I decided I should probably go tell my roommate that some fire men were coming over. On the other hand, she was really busy. I'll just tell her later about it all.... All of a sudden, sirens. LOUD sirens.
"oh crap" I thought. "They didn't need to turn on the sirens!" I ran out to the balcony and sure enough, there was the fire truck complete with sirens, lights, and firemen hanging on it. I thought I'd made it clear this was no emergency.
I decided I'd better go out the front door and guide them to the right place before they banged in someone elses door.

A gaggle of firemen in full dress, and yes don't worry- carrying AXES, ran up the stairs to my apartment and in a minute were in my kitchen. I showed them the problem area and they agreed it was a problem. They pulled the oven away from the wall and unplugged it to see if that'd help.

I explained what had happened leading up to the fire. One fireman asked what I'd be been trying to cook. "Chicken parmesan", I said defeatedly, "I was really looking forward to it." He chuckled. Then he said I'd done the right thing to call the fire department.

They busied themselves in the kitchen and I remembered that I had a roommate upstairs who still didn't know what was going on. I ran up the stairs to go tell her, but half way there I thought that I shouldn't bother her. I'd just tell her later. So I went back down the stairs. Then I thought she would probably like to know and wouldn't mind being bothered. So I went back up. Then I felt embarrased that it had taken me this long to tell her. So I went back down.

At that point the firemen said things were looking better. One said he'd like to check the smoke detectors to make sure they were in good working order. I absent mindedly told him "oh sure, it's just at the top of the stairs."

At that same moment my roommate,Sarah, realized there were a bunch of guys' voices downstairs and thought that I must have had some gentlemen friends over. It was at this point that she thought she should take a study break and come downstairs to meet our house visitors.

Sarah took about a step down the stairs and came face to face with a fully uniformed fireman. I heard her yelp. Then I heard "Uh, Janae?"

I ran up the stairs and tried to pretend like this was all perfectly normal, she had no need to worry. I'd taken care of everything. She didn't buy it.She and I came down the stairs and she saw even more firemen. I had to explain everything. I went through the whole saga. At the end of it, she laughed at me and said that I should have just told her. She concluded with "I mean, you really didn't have to call the FIRE DEPARTMENT."

At the same time all six firemen, in unison, said, "She did the right thing!" Well that cleared up any doubts she or I had had about calling them. After everything was checked out and deemed safe (my chicken didn't pass inspection) the firemen left. We thanked them for coming. I promised I'd never cook again. I shut the door and noticed a huge fireman's axe right by our door.

As if I didn't feel ridiculous enough for the evening I picked up the axe and ran outside and yelled "You forgot your axe!" The forgetful fireman came up and took his axe. No doubt thinking that a lady who couldn't handle her own chicken parmesan, had no business with an axe!

We said goodbye again. I went back inside and laughed and laughed with my roommate. I think I ended up eating cereal that night.

EPILOUGE
Since this fiasco I have made this same dish again. The next time I made it was after I got married. In fact it was the day that Nathan and I got our first puppy, Kya. I threw it up. That was the end of my chicken parmesean making.

My roommate Sarah survived the shock of her life and continued to live with me a few more months until she graduated from the business school. She's been very successful in her career and I just found out that she is getting ready to go to Stanford for her MBA.

No one was hurt during the course of this fiasco,chickens or otherwise.

Janae and the terrible horrible no good very bad morning.

-Woke up with a headache.
-I couldn't decide what to wear to church. It took forever but I finally got something on.
-Felt very bad in the car on the way to church. The sunglight seemed to hurt my eyes very much and then I felt dizzy.
-Late for church.
-Parked our car somewhat close to the other car next to it. So, when I had to squeeze between the two cars my blouse button got stuck on sideview mirror and ripped off. I'm now missing a button.
-Bent down to pick up said button and in the process rubbed against the side of the car. Skirt is now dirty.
-Made it through sacrament meeting. Then I went home. Some days you just need to.

Miranda Rights

Have you ever been awakened by a phone call? Has it ever been a phone call from the police? Well I have. But before I get into that let's back track just a bit.
Just over a month ago, I got a terrible message on my phone. It was just after the kids had left school for the day so I finally had some time to myself.

I checked my phone messages and this is what I heard. "Hi this is Julie. I just found your dog Pepper on Manchac. I'm taking her to my groomer's who has a kennel so she'll be safe. Give me a call." I was instantly terrified and immensely grateful at the same time. On the one hand this nice lady had seen my dog on a VERY busy street about a half mile from our home and taken her to a safe place. On the other hand there was no mention of Kya and where she was.

I ran out of my classroom to the car and headed home. I called Julie and thanked her profusely for saving my dog. I found out where the groomer was located and said I'd head over there ASAP. But first I had to know about Kya. My entire drive home I was looking on the side of the road, hoping that I wouldn't see what was once my dog. I called Nathan who was at work, who called a friend who was not at work to help me look for her.

I finally got home, ran to the backyard and yelled for Kya. Nothing. I yelled again, choking back the tears... and then heard the sound of running- in the neighbor's yard. There was Kya running up onto the deck in the yard next to me. We made eye contact and at the same moment we both ran. She to the side of the fence, and I to get her out of the neighbor's yard and back home.

What happened was this. The two dogs had found a weak board in our other neighbor's yard and got in there. Nathan and I suspect very strongly that that neighbor "excused" our dogs from his yard without any concern (or conscience). My other neighbor, Vicky, happened to be driving on Manchac when she saw a dog that looked very much like ours get into a car. As she turned on our street she saw Kya by the mail boxes and knew right away they had escaped. Being a nice lady, she hollered for Kya to follow her home... which she did.

Nathan and I fixed up the fence as best as we could. We thought it was full proof. We were wrong. This is where the phone call comes in. It's 1 a.m. and my phone rings. I'm so disoriented and confused, I don't answer it. As I laid back down on my pillow I thought I had seen a light coming in our window (which faces the backyard). I must be dreaming. A minute later there it was again. A BRIGHT light that permeated our entire bedroom.

We were both out of bed in a split second. As Nathan turned on the bedroom light, I peeked out of the blinds. "Your dogs are over here." Shouted a voice. We went out to the deck and got the whole story. Kya and Pepper found another weak board. This time it was into the neighbor's yard we back up to. All the poor woman who lives there heard was what sounded like an intruder. Of course she called the police. The APD headquarters tracked us down and that is who had called my phone. After we went and picked up the dogs I checked the message. "This is the Austin Police Dept. The police have found your dog Pepper."

Yes, the two officers who responded to our neighbor's call laughed at us. But it could be worse. At least our dogs are back with us and not in the slammer.