I'm what???

Getting pregnant didn't just happen for Nathan and I, though we tried our darndest (wink,wink)... gross. Sorry for all that information. Hahaha.

Anyway that whole journey took us down many paths. Adoption (which we did not go through with), fertility doctor, hormone specialist, voodoo doctor as I lovingly refer to her as and eventually back to a fertility doctor, (though different from the first one).

Once we arrived at that last fertility doctor that was a process as well. Eventually we arrived at in-vitro. That whole saga would best be left to its own post. At any rate, we were able to implant 2 embryos. After doing so I had a reaction called Ovarian Hyper-Stimulation Syndrome. It was a severe enough case that I wound up in the hospital on 2 separate occasions. The second stay was about a week long.

The thing about going through the in vitro process is that everything is very scheduled and very calculated. From the time you give yourself shots, egg retrieval, implantation, pregnancy test... it is all planned out. I had given up my idea of surprising Nathan with the news we were pregnant. Back in the early days, I imagined him coming home and somehow cleverly revealing to him that he was going to be a dad.

After having given up several notions of how things are "supposed to be" (or not supposed to be) throughout this time in my life, I was blessed to have the ability to still surprise my husband with this news. A little "tender mercy" if you will.

My doctor came to check on me throughout my stay in the hospital. During my second stay he increasingly came to suspect that I was pregnant. I of course held that hope at bay. A coping mechanism to be sure. The fact that my OHSS had not abated was the first clue he had. But on top of that, there were occasions when he came that I was eating only pickles. :)

Now, according to the calendar, I was to have the pregnancy test on a Friday. Exactly two weeks after implanting the embryos. My doctor though, being highly suspicious of a positive result, asked me if I would like to bump up that test by a day. I of course said that I would and he put in the order for the blood work for Thursday morning.

I didn't tell Nathan about the change in plans.

During my week in the hospital I became accustomed to the morning lab work and eventually just slept through it. Not Thursday morning though. I was excited and nervous. Hopeful yet scared. How many countless tests had I taken in the years leading up to this day that all had said "NOPE! Not this month lady"? I'm not sure how I endured the hours until my doctor came in. I think I was on the phone with someone so I had to quickly hang up.

Doctor K:"I got the results from your test and YOU'RE PREGNANT"
Me: (immediately crying) I'm what?!

We continued to talk and celebrate. After he left I wanted to jump out of my skin. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops or at the very least call up my honey at work and tell him. I calmed myself down though and decided that after waiting several years, I could wait until he came to the hospital after work.

Easier said than done. I believe I called my husband asking if he could come over early. I made up a bogus story about having a rough day. He said he'd try his best but most likely he couldn't leave the office until 5. That was 5 hours away at that point.

By the time he walked in to my hospital room at 6:00 (traffic had been awful) he had about a minute to say hello and then needed to be on a conference call. That call lasted an hour. Probably the longest hour of my life. Finally(FINALLY!!) the call ended. It was time to tell him.

He asked how my day was. I said I think I needed a hug.
He hugged me.
I asked him if it felt different. He asked "if what feels different?"
"Hugging a pregnant lady" I replied. He asked if I was serious. I assured him I was.

We laughed and cried and hugged and cried. And then we began making some phone calls.