Blarney Boyfriend

(I don't think I ever really posted anything about my Ireland trip this past March. Well inspriation has finally struck)

Our day of driving through the BEAUTIFUL Ring of Kerry had been picture perfect. Bright sunlight, warm weather, birds singing, flowers blooming... you get the picture.

As our drive through the ring concluded, the weather turned cold and cloudy. This would make our drive to our final destination of Dublin all the more tricky. It would have been wise to just hit the road for Dublin, but our proximity to Blarney Castle was too alluring. We of course would have to take a slight detour to check out the castle and of course the famous Blarney stone.
The ominous change in weather should have tipped me off to what was awaiting me there.

We got into the castle grounds about thirty seconds before they closed. Rebekah, Stephanie and I made our way up to the top of the castle where the "lucky" stone awaited. I was determined NOT to kiss the stone for fear of catching a disease, such as herpes or scampis. (see previous post for more on scampis.) Naturally I was talked into it after all the trouble we'd gone through to get there.

The keeper of the Blarney stone helped each of us kiss the rock. We took pictures and made small talk with some other tourists. The three of us lingered slightly longer than the other groups there but eventually decided we had better get going. It was apparent as we were thanking the Blarney keeper and saying goodbye that he was perhaps a lonely man, as he chatted us up just a bit. At any rate we finally made our way down the treacherous castle steps.

All of that work had made us hungry. But where to go eat in Blarney? If only there was a local we could ask about a nearby restaurant or pub. Just about that time, Blarney keeper was seen just ahead of us, locking up and walking the grounds. I caught up to him as the other two finished taking a couple of pictures of the scenery.

Perhaps he mistook my running up to him as flirting...

Me: Hi again. Is there a restaurant nearby where my friends and I could get some dinner?
Creepy Blarney Man: (in thick Irish accent of course) Ah yer hungry now are yuh?
Me: Ya, it's been a long day and we still have to drive to Dublin so we were hoping there was a place close by.
CBM: I could make yuh some dinner.
Me: (fake laugh) oh that's ok.
CBM: I don't live far. You should have dinner with me.
Me: (awkward/creeped out laugh) no, that's ok.

At this point the other two join us.

Girls: What's going on. Have you figured out a place to eat?
Me: (trying to make the CBM's comments not creepy) Not yet, but I think I just got asked out on a date.
Girls: (laughing) oh really?
CBM: (talking to me) so you want to have dinner?
Me: (thinking I'd rather make out with the Blarney stone than continue this conversation) I don't think my husband would like me having dinner with another man.
CBM: So yer married?
Me: Yup. (show my ring)
CBM: What does yer husband do?
Me: (thinking- doesn't make his living by guarding a rock, that's for sure)

At any rate with the help of the girls I got out of that awkward line of questioning and were just about to leave... but not before Creepy Blarney Man asked...

CBM: Can I take a picture with yuh?
Me: Um, sure. Do you have a camera?
CMB: No
This is where Stephanie comes to the "rescue". How weird is it that he wanted
a picture on one of our cameras??
Steph: I'll take one of you guys.
CBM moves very close to me and says (I'm not making this up)
CBM: I'll make sure to keep me hands in me pockets.

And voila.


I had almost made a "what the heck is this creepy guy doing" face. I suppose it was good that I had not because immediately after the picture was taken he asked to see it.

Somehow we got outta there. I remember, as we were walking back to the car and talking about what the heck had just happened, wanting to look back to make sure he wasn't following us- but too afraid to, in case he was.

We ended up driving pretty far from the castle. We found a Domino's Pizza in a strip mall type of place. Our encounter there was only a bit more pleasant than Blarney Castle. They didn't have a bathroom there, and the pizza sauce tasted like the smell of horses. We ate our personal sized pizzas in our car, in the parking lot.